Part I from Candice:

Well, I think "Cochin" is Indian for rip-off. At least that is the way the day started off. Most of the time, money can be exchanged on the ship, no problems. The rate isn't that good, but there isn't a service charge. So it all evens out. This is all fine and good, until we hit those odd ports, like Cochin, where a local bank comes on board to exchange money. These people don't speak english and they don't tell you the exchange rate. You just hand them the money; they hit around on the calculator and give you some rupees. Thank goodness we only got $40 exchanged, because with the rate they gave us it was equivalent to only $30 dollars. Total gip. If I had a little forewarning, I wouldn't have done it. It is frustrating to try and calculate all of this in such little time.

Onward to our "tour" of the harbor. It was basically what our ship sailed past in the morning, except we were on a tiny little boat with benches that faced inward. Stupid. The real kicker was how slow we were going. This infuriated Sandy, which in turn got me all worked up. A lady next to us asked, "Too much togetherness?" "No, frustration. And we deal with it differently." But a positive spin on the "tour" is that we could have spent a lot more on a crappy tour.

The tuktuk was an experience. Sandy's story is below. Before you read it, allow me a defense. I was up for a trip to Fort Kochi, just not an extended excursion. I had a very small list of sights that I wanted to see. Maybe a little shopping. So after I saw St. Francis Church and bought a purse, I was ready to head back, but that was apparently not in the cards. This purse I bought looked good hanging up and was only six dollars. I did see that there was some dirt on it, due to the street vendors basically keeping their items out for so long. I thought "Okay, it is what it is." Plus, Sandy said it can be washed. I'm trying to make a decision, but my anxiety started rearing its head. It was a brash decision, but I bought the purse. Little by little, I realized that I didn't want it and that there were more defects. Great. Sandy said give it to somebody. "I am not giving this to anybody!" So this on top of the never-ending tour was getting frustrating.  Sandy was no help; she encouraged the prolonged tour and ignored my pleas of "Tell him we want to go back to the ship." I sound like negative nancy, but I did enjoy myself. My anxiety level tends to have a limit, probably half the size of Sandy's. 

Later while back on the ship, Sandy was recalling her Saigon rip-off. "I've come to accept my postcards." After a second, I followed with a laughing (slightly hysterical) reply of  "Acceptance is the first step." This set off an episode of laughing, the kind where you couldn't breath. It was a nice way to take the edge of the day off.  

Part II from Sandy:

Cochin, India was very exciting!  After taking a harbor tour with Cunard (our second official purchased tour) we took a tuk tuk ride all the way into Ft. Kochi and this was truly an adventure!  Never mind that the harbor tour seemed to be too laid back and slow going but when we got off the boat, we were given bad information.  We had requested that we be dropped off in Ft. Kochi while on the harbor cruise but the tide was too high and they told us private boats could not drop off at the piers.  So instead of boarding the bus for a two block drive back to the ship, we asked were we go to catch the ferry.  Next jetty down was what we were given.  

We got over to the next jetty via side roads only to find that this ferry went to some island starting with a 'V.'  Not a whole lot of English spoken either at this ticket office and we surely stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the locals.  I almost felt like an animal in a zoo with all the stares but on a lighter note as we boarded our bus there was an open barred window with some young mens faces peering through.  Once I saw them I waved and they were only too excited to be acknowledged.  Also while we were on our harbor cruise there were some young girls on the banks in their school uniforms and they got excited about their visitors too when we waved back at them.  Very friendly people and beautiful faces with big smiles!

Striking out on our own to find the real jetty for the Ft. Kochi ferry we went out towards the end of the peninsula and rounded the corner.  The all too familiar stares with all eyes upon us was a little unsettling but I never thought we were in any danger.  I think we were just an oddity.  We were approached by a tuk tuk driver who was awfully persistent and a little irritating.  He was young and eager to get our business but we thought we needed to take a ferry due to the time of the day and the distance we needed to go.  Once we got over to the other side of the peninsula we found the jetty but there was no ticket window or time schedule.  After an inquiry we found out this one was for port authority workers only.  

Luckily we spotted an information office and Candice went in to get some directions while I tried to hold off the tuk tuk driver that had followed us all the way down the street and an older man who wanted to take us across by his private boat.  Looking back it was quite comical but once we found out the ferry we needed didn't leave until 1:45 p.m. our tuk tuk driver was in business.  He told us it would take 30 minutes to drive over and it would cost us $2 US dollars.  At this point in time I was glad he was as persistent as he was. 

We loaded up in the open air tricycle cab with a motorcycle engine and three hard rubber tires (no air).  Very interesting and fun!  We felt every bump in the road and when we finally got to the bridge it was a real balancing act for him to stay just on one tire track side of the road.  We felt like we were truly doing the amazing race since our driver was going as fast as he could and we looked around and wondered where they would put the camera crew.

The ride was not for the faint of heart!  We hung on the bars on the side and secured our bags so they wouldn't fall out all the while taking movies with the camera.  Our young guy had no qualms about pulling out into on coming traffic to pass big trucks and buses.  We played chicken through an intersection with a big rig and believe it or not we won.  Brake pedals mashing to the floor followed by a couple of quick jumps towards the center, followed by a stall, then another small jump.  I could have leaned out and kissed the fender of the big rig we were so close.  But our cab driver finally took the big jump out and around all the while shouting some obscenity towards the other driver.  We experienced this more than once but this was the closest call.  Shortly after this we saw two accidents within 100 feet of each other.  A brand new car had run up under a bus and smashed the hood and another new car had been hit in the rear panel!  I just kept hanging on waiting for the impact as we wove our way through the streets that at times suddenly became three lanes with us in the middle.  

About 25 minutes into this ride we pulled up to this air conditioned store and our driver insisted that we get out and go in.  He knew we were looking for shopping but we specifically told him we wanted to be dropped off at St. Francis Church.  As usual, he was very persistent that we go in and shop and we realized he was going to get paid for us to walk in.  I told Candice that we'd humor him and go in, make one quick round and come back out, which we did.  We found our driver in the back parking lot getting paid and we climbed in the tuk tuk.  He looked happy as he crossed the lot towards the tuk tuk.  This happened several times during the trip but hey it was a way for him to make a little more money so I didn't really care too much.  Candice was another story.

What I did enjoy about our driver is he was actually a quasi-independent tour guide.  He showed us the Dutch Cemetery which dated back to 1729, the large washing area on the water banks, an elephant over the wall (they were charging you 15 rupees to walk into the courtyard), a 500 year old tree (questionable, but what the hey), the Chinese fishing nets, which we saw on our harbor cruise, the Dutch Palace which didn't look to palace-y and some other small sights.  He took us by a spice shop and some local street vendors, too.  

Candice was calling to go back home to the ship but this atmosphere was right up my alley.  Goats ran around the streets like dogs and cats and in packs.  It was too funny, weird and cute all at the same time.  Trash was thrown on the side of the roads and we saw a couple of people picking through it - one man's garbage is another man's treasure.  Thank God it didn't stink like garbage.  Some nicer hotels were sandwiched across the park area by the water front and we did see a few foreign tourist besides the Cunardians.  Our driver took us down some back alleys that were very interesting and quite empty.  Even though he didn't speak much English he knew all the pertinent words.  I hope he didn't hear or understand Candice complaining to get back to the ship.  I on the other hand was having fun and promised her that we would not be going in any more stores but I still wanted to see the sights he would show us.

Candice was determined that we were driving around in circles and got frustrated with me when I told her we were heading back to the ship but she wasn't convinced until we saw some familiar sights.  I told her that they were probably one way streets.  I don't think she bought it but It was nice to see what their everyday life looked like and it made me appreciate what we have back home.  No smelly foods cooking either.  As a matter of fact I smelled something good cooking and we figured it was due to the spices they were using.  Only a little fishy smell around the boats and fishing nets.  

Cochin is a large port town and most of the commerce is associated with cargo shipping so I'm sure this part of India is wealthier than most areas.   One island was tax free and there was access to the larger part of city by ferry for 2.5 rupees.  I'm thinking that's were I might live if I had to set up shop in Cochin!  In the area there are four or five islands with most of them connected by bridges.  The maps Cunard gave us lacked a total layout of all the islands which caused us to be confused for a little while.  All the islands were flat and everywhere you looked there was a fishing boat somewhere.  

This place is worthy of a visit, but I wouldn't consider an extended or even an overnight stay.  The day was memorable and I'll always remember our pushy little driver just trying to eek out a living.  We ended up paying him five dollars and I think the experience was well worth it!  Candice was relieved to get back to the ship and later at the evening show our cruise director said he saw people coming back on the ship, dropping to their knees and kissing the floor.  I didn't think it was that bad, but it got a good laugh. I can vouch that Candice didn't seem as bad as he described but she was close!  On the other hand, a spa worker for Cunard got in a tuk tuk accident .  It tipped over with him in it going down the road.  We heard he ended up in the ship's hospital per the Chief Purser at dinner that night.  Oops!

Sandy